Monday, November 14, 2005
They Call It Madness
Things are getting stranger and stranger. I'm beginning to suspect that my life is a kind of Truman Show for God and his mates. I think they have interactive voting as to what they're going to inflict on me next, and then they watch and laugh/cry/yawn.
He says He sees our lives going in different directions in the future. My head is inclined to agree a little bit with that possibility. My heart feels like it's cracking slightly every time we have a discussion about the future. I don't want my best friend/lover/husband to break my heart. I don't think I could stand it.
On the other hand, He's happily talking about us moving house into a place where we can convert one room into a big studio for painting/music/writing/his 3D animation stuff, and talking about our holidays next year, and when we go travelling, and blah blah blah.
I have no fucking idea what's going on. And for the first time in my whole life, I'm too scared to ask a difficult question. Actually no, if I'm honest, it's the answer I'm scared of.
He says He sees our lives going in different directions in the future. My head is inclined to agree a little bit with that possibility. My heart feels like it's cracking slightly every time we have a discussion about the future. I don't want my best friend/lover/husband to break my heart. I don't think I could stand it.
On the other hand, He's happily talking about us moving house into a place where we can convert one room into a big studio for painting/music/writing/his 3D animation stuff, and talking about our holidays next year, and when we go travelling, and blah blah blah.
I have no fucking idea what's going on. And for the first time in my whole life, I'm too scared to ask a difficult question. Actually no, if I'm honest, it's the answer I'm scared of.
